Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
