I want to walk on stilts...naked
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
