Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
