Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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