Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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