All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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