LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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