Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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