? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
