My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
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I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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