marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
