Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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