I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize