why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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