they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
