so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
