and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just high enough for therapy.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
