it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
