I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
then he tried to convert me to islam
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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