I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I stole a fireplace last night.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
