So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
