I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
