Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
