I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
