Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
