erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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