I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
