Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He passed out mid-signature
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there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
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Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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