my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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