i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
