Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
