i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
