Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You have to summon your inner elephant
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
