I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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