RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Are we still banned from the library?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
