Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This is the high leading the old right now
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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