I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
