i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
