You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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