I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
