I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
