We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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