so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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