Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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