and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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