I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize