it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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