I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize