Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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