No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
