your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
