I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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