I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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