Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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