I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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