New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
