Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
