K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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