More tranny stories later!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
