Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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