i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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