Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
